Sunday, February 24, 2013


Catfish is Catfishing America

Each week, Hollywood gives us something to whine about, and the week of Feb. 18 was no different. We could make a drinking game out of this week, but that would be too dangerous. Instead, we'll stick to the usual formula: varying levels of alcoholic respite depending on how bothersome the week's issues are. Is your biggest complaint this week a flimsy one? How about a light cocktail to take the edge off? Got a real bone to pick with a celeb or entertainment entity this week? Go ahead, grab a drink that'll put hair on your chest. Here are the week's entertainment stories that are forcing us to seek a bubbly or boozy refuge. And maybe an idea or two about how you should wash them down.
Settle Down With a Tall, Frosty Beer
-Catfish, How Could You?!: America's new favorite reality show turns out to be a little short on the reality side of things.
-Seth MacFarlane, Don't Be a Family Guy Character at the Oscars, Please: Because if you do, you're going to be hearing lots of crickets and seeing lots of grumpy cat impressions in the audience.
-Poor NBC Just Can't Catch a Break: Some of us still hold out hope, but it appears we'll never again see the era of Must See TV return to us.
-We're Feeling Pretty Guilty About How Much We Want to Watch the Rihanna/Chris Brown Law and Order Episode: But that hasn't stopped us from setting our DVRs.
-Destiny's Child Reality Show? Yay! About Michelle Williams... Only. Damnit.: Seriously, who thought this was a good idea?
-Fox May Be Hurting New Girl: Moving the lovely little sitcom could spell disaster for the already shrinking ratings.
That's It. Guzzle a Whiskey and Coke, Hold the Coke.
-Lena Dunham Now Has to Apologize for Things She Didn't Do: This is some bulls**t.
-Meanwhile, Julia Louis-Dreyfus is Doing Things She Most Definitely Should Apoligize For: Like this body-shaming commericial she made in Isreal.
-LeAnn Rimes Gets to Make Totally Amoral Decisions And Receive Zero Negative Consequences: How is this living situation fair?
-Shia LeBeouf Can't Even Apologize Without Plagiarizing: Yet his clothes are probably more expensive than my laptop.
-Michael Bay Picked a Bombshell to Play Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' Feminist Hero: We'll give it a shot, but it's making us a little worried.
-What the Hell, American Idol?: The men this year are so awful, I'm still angry three days later. But hey, at least the show is back to inspiring some sort of emotion, right?
-Pretty Guys Can't Win Oscars: At least that's what history has taught us. We'll just have to love Ryan Gosling that much more to make up for it.
-Apparently, Obsessing Over Oscar Pistorious' Alleged Crimes Aren't Enough: We need to see it in documentary form too.
-Some Boneheads in England Thought It'd Be Fun to Tell Us Who They Don't Want to Bone: Thus ensuring their spot on womankind's similar list of jerks who'll never get laid.

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